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Panel 1:
Hermie: Hey, Boss. We just had another gerbil quit today.
Boss Betta: We pay top dollar for talent, Hermie. We shouldn’t have a turnover problem.
Panel 2:
Split one: (Hamsters frantically spinning in their wheels.)
Hermie: Our line workers put in extra effort every week making up for lost labor…
Split two: (Gary Gecko staring at the wall, Kat drinking from an “Not My Problem” mug, and Mooch picking their nose)
Hermie: …while our management team seems to be ineffective.
Panel 3:
Hermie: What if we invest in better onboarding, a management training program, mentorship, and a culture centered on purpose.
Boss Betta: (thoughtfully) Hmmm…
Panel 4:
Boss Betta: Nah. Just throw them a pizza party.
Hermie: (grimacing) I hope we can budget for more “Help Wanted” signs.
Why Competitive Pay Alone Won’t Solve Your Turnover Problem
“We pay top dollar for talent, Hermie. We shouldn’t have a turnover problem.”
A fundamental question submitted through our Ask Hermie form inspired the opening line from our latest Hermie the HR Hermit Crab comic:
“How can companies reduce turnover in a competitive labor market when their compensation is already very competitive?”
This contributor posed a fair question and a frustrating one. You’ve benchmarked the salaries, added bonuses, maybe upgraded your breakroom coffee or hosted the occasional team lunch. But people continue to leave or “quiet quit,” even in a volatile job market.
Why?
Because money doesn’t fix morale, and it doesn’t build culture.
If you’ve read our most-shared post, You Can’t Pizza Party Your Way to a Great Corporate Culture, you already know this. While pay gets talent in the door, it doesn’t keep them there. People don’t quit dollar signs; they quit toxic leadership, aimlessness, broken systems, and workplaces that drain rather than develop.
This comic illustrates (pun intended) the reality that poorly trained and unmotivated managers can lead to a lack of job satisfaction among the workforce and result in attrition. In fact, the latest Gallup study of the Global State of the Workplace corroborates this statement, stating that only 27% of managers engage in their work. While one side of the team grinds itself to exhaustion, the other side disengages, leads poorly, or comes to work completely unprepared for their role. Leadership’s answer? A pizza party. A nice gesture, but not a sound organizational development (OD) strategy.
So What Does Reduce Turnover?
If your company already pays competitively, we offer some research-based investments (Hussainy & Al-Wahaibi, 2022) that actually move the needle:
- Effective onboarding and role clarity
- Mentorship and internal mobility opportunities
- Manager development and accountability
- A culture centered on purpose, belonging, and shared values
- Consistent communication and cross-departmental trust
You don’t have to guess what your organization needs next. We built the Harmonious Health Check™ – a practical, data-informed tool to assess culture, engagement, and leadership effectiveness across your team – to help organizations quickly diagnose and treat their issues strategically while building on strengths and opportunities..
Want to keep your best people?
Start by understanding what’s really happening. Take the Harmonious Health Check™ and move from turnover to transformation.
References
Gallup (2025). State of the Global Workplace: Understanding Employees, Informing Leaders.
Hussainy, S.S. & Al-Wahaibi, M.A. (2022). Motivational Theories and Models for Employees’ Motivation & Retention. Current Aspects in Business, Economics and Finance, Vol. 6 (pp.51-63). DOI:10.9734/bpi/cabef/v6/8538F
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